How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends And Influence People” by Dale Carnegie is a tremendous book. It provides a fantastic and credible guideline for individuals that intend to influence, inspire and even “manipulate” others. Even though I can’t consider it one of the most interesting books I’ve read, I believe that its teachings are imperative for establishing good and healthy relationships.

Today, I want to mention some of its premises that have had the most significant impact in my personal life. I consider this to be one of the most valuable books ever written, so I encourage the reader to take the time to embrace its teachings and to test them.

“You need to spend all of your time and energy on creating something that actually brings value to the people you’re asking for money!” – Gary Vaynerchuk
#1. Don’t Criticize, Condemn or Complain

This one I have completely embraced in my life. At the beginning I was a bit skeptical about it, however, all changed when I found about the great Gary Vaynerchuk, that, strongly shares that same perspective. In fact, it’s life changing when you take the approach to life with “It’s all my fault.“. I’ve grown tremendously as a person and accepted the world as it is, I’ve learned to appreciate all opinions and perspectives and to always have multiple points into consideration. I’ve learned to have my mind open and to, sincerely, try to understand other people’s points of view.

#2. Become Genuinely Interested in Other People

Everyone is different, we already know that. However, most don’t take the time to appreciate other people’s opinions and perspectives. You, as a single individual, have something that nobody else in the world has. You have your story, your experience and your thoughts, and there is always something you can teach and share with others. You will be amazed with the amount of things you can learn just by listening and appreciating other people’s standpoints.

#3. Smile

This is the simplest it can get. Just smile. Smiling can be tremendously powerful, specially in today’s society where competition is tough and everyone is trying desperately to take care of their families and jobs. Most of the times people forget the most elementary stuff which are also the most meaningful. Try to smile, to promote positivity and kindness. People will treat you differently, I guarantee you.

#4. Remember The Name

This one is essential. Make a substantial effort to remember the name of every person you meet. I’m not saying that this will make a person instantly like you, but, it might change their perspective about you. It shows that you care, that you remember and that you’ve actually paid some attention when you met her for the first time. Believe me, this might make a huge difference when you least expect.

#5. Be a Good Listener

Everyone loves to talk about themselves, its inevitable. Nobody likes to admit it but its true. So why don’t you try to use that in your favor? If you want people to care about you, care about them first. Be a good listener and, eventually, your opportunity to share your experience and thoughts will come.

Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate your time. Also, what books have changed your life? Tell me in the comments. See you!


12 thoughts on “How to Win Friends and Influence People

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this. All wonderful advice. My favourites are #2 and #4 and I think in some ways that #4 is a demonstration of #2. It probably hasn’t changed my life as such, but one of my favourite leadership books is “The Three Laws of Performance” by Steve Zaffron and Dave Logan. It helped me to really appreciate that how I am occurring to others might be very different to how I would like to be occurring to others. It very much shifted my perspective as a leader.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this article and I love Dale’s book. I’ve read it many times and it changed my life – forever.
    Once I had an interview, it was one of the top companies, I’ve been asked: “How do you communicate and influence people” and I’ve mentioned “How to Win Friends And Influence People” book(..because this is a Bible) to the group of interviewers… they have not heard of this book at all, sadly.. This world will be less egocentric if people would only follow at least 50% of advices from Dale Carnegie’s book.
    All other inspirational books on the market.. printed in the last 50 years are very much at some point “copy + past” of Dale’s ideas.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I took the Dale Carnegie course last year where they go over these concepts. We implemented them in class. The course helped me realize my own identity more, especially in relation to other people. Point #1 was a big one for me. Beyond the course, I still need to read the book and make habits out of the course’s principles. I remind myself that I have to show up genuine and interested to every moment, no matter how I feel.

    Liked by 1 person

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